1 00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:10,141 [Frank] Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate 2 00:00:10,221 --> 00:00:13,541 is the Garden of Eden, you know, but it's been a good home to us, 3 00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:15,660 to me, Frank Gallagher, 4 00:00:16,221 --> 00:00:18,620 and me kids, who I'm proud of, 5 00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:22,061 'cause every single one of 'em reminds me a little of me. 6 00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,140 [all gasp] 7 00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:25,421 [Frank] You know, they can all think for themselves, 8 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:27,780 -which they've me to thank for. -[boy] Run for it! 9 00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:31,341 [Frank] Fiona, who's a big help, massive help. 10 00:00:31,421 --> 00:00:33,061 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, 11 00:00:33,141 --> 00:00:35,540 which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore. 12 00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:38,461 Ian, lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, 13 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,381 'cause she's disappeared into thin air. 14 00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:43,141 -[barks] -Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair. 15 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:45,301 One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah. 16 00:00:45,381 --> 00:00:46,461 Two, nits love him. 17 00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:49,620 Debbie, total angel. 18 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:51,580 You've to check your change, but she'll go miles 19 00:00:51,661 --> 00:00:53,821 out of her way to do you a favour. 20 00:00:54,501 --> 00:00:57,741 Plus Liam! Little rock n' roller! Gonna be a star. 21 00:00:58,381 --> 00:01:00,501 -Once we've got the fits under control. -[screams] 22 00:01:01,181 --> 00:01:03,381 Steve, posh lad, different planet. 23 00:01:03,701 --> 00:01:06,301 The truth is out there... not! 24 00:01:06,821 --> 00:01:09,621 Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbours. 25 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,261 You know, lend you anything. Well, not anything. 26 00:01:12,341 --> 00:01:15,861 But all of 'em, to a man, know first and foremost, 27 00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:18,901 one of the most vital necessities in this life is, 28 00:01:18,981 --> 00:01:21,661 they know how to throw a party! [laughing] 29 00:01:21,741 --> 00:01:23,541 -[siren wailing] -Scatter! 30 00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:28,461 [Veronica] Now, I'm not really a jealous person... 31 00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:29,541 [chuckling] 32 00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:30,941 ...but living next door to Fiona 33 00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:32,500 gave me a cross to bear. 34 00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:34,060 -Every bloke she met... -[Fiona laughing] 35 00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:36,860 ...seemed to want to marry her. She had that kind of face. 36 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,220 I thought I had that kind of face an' all... 37 00:01:39,301 --> 00:01:40,140 [Fiona laughing] 38 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,700 ...but Kev's never once mentioned marriage in all the years I've known him. 39 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:43,621 [Veronica whistling] 40 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,621 Which never used to bother me 41 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,661 -till the day l realised that... -[Fiona laughs] 42 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,420 ...well, you either love each other or you don't, 43 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,661 and if you don't, 44 00:01:52,741 --> 00:01:54,541 it's time to find your running shoes, innit? 45 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,341 -Top up? -[Veronica speaks indistinctly] 46 00:01:58,981 --> 00:02:00,981 ♪ Life will never be The same... ♪ 47 00:02:01,060 --> 00:02:02,461 [both singing] 48 00:02:02,541 --> 00:02:05,140 -♪ Life is changing ♪ -[Fiona laughing] 49 00:02:05,220 --> 00:02:06,500 [song continues in distance] 50 00:02:07,101 --> 00:02:09,060 -[Kev] You seen our Veronica? -Try the disco. 51 00:02:12,461 --> 00:02:14,100 Veronica! You should be-- 52 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,380 Can you have that a bit bleedin' louder? 53 00:02:16,981 --> 00:02:19,901 Don't you remember this, down Jekyll's, E'd off our faces? 54 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:22,221 Just telling Fiona it's the first time we got off together. 55 00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:25,181 -l must have been of me cake if I were dancin' to this. Have you seen me shirt? 56 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:27,341 -What shirt? -Me Friday shirt for work. 57 00:02:27,421 --> 00:02:28,980 I got it out earlier and it's disappeared. 58 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,341 -[Veronica sighs] -What's in there? 59 00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:33,341 Bedding. Go and stick 'em in Fiona's, that one of ours will rip 'em to shreds. 60 00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:35,861 -Veronica! -[music continues] 61 00:02:35,941 --> 00:02:38,980 ♪ Got to feel secure ♪ 62 00:02:39,421 --> 00:02:40,820 I must have thought it was a pillowcase. 63 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:42,301 -With sleeves? -[sighs] 64 00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,540 It's been downhill ever since. [smooching] 65 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,540 -[Veronica laughing] Wicked! -Cheers! 66 00:02:48,141 --> 00:02:49,700 [music continues] 67 00:02:59,501 --> 00:03:00,581 Hey, that's sexual harr-- 68 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,421 Mandy! 69 00:03:02,861 --> 00:03:04,301 I was hoping you'd be here. 70 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,100 Wanted to say thanks for earlier. 71 00:03:06,181 --> 00:03:08,421 -Steppin' in with Hardman. -Oh, it were nothin'. 72 00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:09,621 [Mandy] You're jokin'. 73 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,181 None of the other lads would have done that. 74 00:03:11,461 --> 00:03:13,301 You were like my knight in shining armour. 75 00:03:14,741 --> 00:03:16,700 D'you know you've got a hero working for you? 76 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:18,820 Stood up for me earlier in biology. 77 00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,820 Hard-on Hardman. He's a right dirty old bastard. 78 00:03:22,781 --> 00:03:24,301 Did you have to stay long in detention? 79 00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:26,661 About an hour or so, I just listened to my Walkman. 80 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,461 What you doin' when you get off here? 81 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,341 I don't know 'cause he's a bit of a slave driver, 82 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,621 so, I'm never too sure what time I'm gonna finish. 83 00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:36,901 -Listen, Mandy, I best get on. -[Mandy] Okay. 84 00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:38,820 -[man talking over radio] -Might see you later, then... 85 00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:40,621 sexy. 86 00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:48,741 [coughs] 87 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,861 [man talking over radio] 88 00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:53,861 -Excuse me, ladies, excuse me. -[all cheer] 89 00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,301 -I'll just take these off you. -[all laughing] 90 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,341 Take anything you want off me, darling! 91 00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:00,420 [Tina laughing] What's your name, love? 92 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,941 -Kev. -Oh, girls, girls! 93 00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:05,061 -[all cheering] -I've found a new one. 94 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,901 -Kev! Listen, Kev... -Thank you. 95 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,380 ...I'm working my way through the alphabet, 96 00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:11,260 -and l ain't had a K yet. -[all giggling] 97 00:04:11,341 --> 00:04:12,420 Do you fancy helping me out? 98 00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:14,741 [chuckles] Well, I'll tell you what, 99 00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:17,100 if you're still stuck after the other 25, 100 00:04:17,821 --> 00:04:18,661 give us a shout! 101 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,261 -Oh! -[all laughing] 102 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,981 Hey, Zack, Zack! 103 00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,541 You might be in here, mate! [chuckles] 104 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,461 [all laughing] 105 00:04:35,421 --> 00:04:36,381 [Ian] Night. 106 00:04:40,261 --> 00:04:41,901 -Gotcha! -Jesus, Mandy! 107 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:42,861 [laughs] 108 00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:45,620 -You scared me half to death! -Waited for you. 109 00:04:46,421 --> 00:04:48,981 Come on, I'll walk you home. Windsor Gardens, innit? 110 00:04:50,461 --> 00:04:52,581 She fancies the arse off you! 111 00:04:53,141 --> 00:04:54,141 Over there. Tina. 112 00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:55,981 Shall l tell her you're interested? 113 00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:59,060 Reckons you're like a little boy in need of mothering. 114 00:04:59,421 --> 00:05:01,221 She's a right dirty cow, though. 115 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,461 What do you reckon, Kev? 116 00:05:02,541 --> 00:05:04,661 -Shall I tell her you're up for it? -No, l can't. 117 00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:06,740 -[Marie] Aw, why not? -[Kev] I just can't. 118 00:05:06,821 --> 00:05:09,101 -Hey, Tina! -No, no, whoa, whoa, whoa! 119 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:11,581 Li-- Listen, I'm-- Look, I'm... 120 00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:15,101 [stammers] I-- I'm getting married, aren't I? 121 00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:16,261 Married? 122 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,421 Veronica. Great girl. Love her to bits. 123 00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:21,221 [indistinct chatter] 124 00:05:21,461 --> 00:05:24,021 Hey, did he just say he was getting married? 125 00:05:24,101 --> 00:05:25,381 Well, it's the first I've heard. 126 00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:28,141 Well, are yous just gonna stand there 127 00:05:28,221 --> 00:05:30,541 or are you gonna break out the bubbly? [chuckles] 128 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,661 -[scoffs] -Come on, this needs marking, doesn't it? 129 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:37,861 Paddy, Reg! Kev's getting married! 130 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:39,940 Hey, here he comes! 131 00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:42,021 [sings "Wedding March"] ♪ Here comes the bride ♪ 132 00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,620 -♪ La, la, la... ♪ -[all] ♪ La, la, la ♪ 133 00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:48,341 ♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la... ♪ 134 00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,461 Hey, Carol. 135 00:05:49,821 --> 00:05:52,060 -Frank, no! Frank! -Wait, your Veronica, 136 00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:54,981 Ke-- Kev's gonna make an honest woman of her! 137 00:05:56,141 --> 00:06:00,981 -[yells] Oh! Jesus Christ! -[mouths] 138 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,421 He's done it! He's finally gone and done it! 139 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,180 -Kevin Alan Ball... -Yeah. 140 00:06:07,261 --> 00:06:09,981 ...give me a big kiss! 141 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,301 -[gasps] My new son-in-law! -Carol... 142 00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:17,301 Oh, you know, he's made me the happiest mother in the world! 143 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:20,541 Mind you, it's about bloody time. 144 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:21,661 Hey, give us your phone. 145 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,101 -I wanna ring Veronica-- -You can't! 146 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,620 [indistinct chatter] 147 00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:27,221 -She'll wanna tell you herself. -[Frank] Kev! 148 00:06:27,861 --> 00:06:28,981 Kev! 149 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,461 The barman! [chuckles] 150 00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:35,820 -[laughs] He's getting married! -Congratulations, Kev! 151 00:06:36,261 --> 00:06:38,141 -[Carol] Oh. -[indistinct chatter] 152 00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:42,021 -[girl moaning on TV] -[Ian exhales] 153 00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:45,021 [girl moaning on TV] 154 00:06:46,301 --> 00:06:47,620 [Ian] Do-- Do you want another? 155 00:06:47,861 --> 00:06:50,141 -[girl grunting on TV] -Cheers. 156 00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:53,180 -Don't be long. -[girl grunting on TV] 157 00:06:54,341 --> 00:06:55,940 -What the fuck? -Piss off! 158 00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:57,180 I want to see the end of this. 159 00:06:58,101 --> 00:06:58,940 All right. [scoffs] 160 00:06:59,861 --> 00:07:01,060 -Jesus! -Where are you going? 161 00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:03,620 Bed... apparently. 162 00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:06,541 [girl moaning on TV] 163 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,141 ["Feel" by Robbie Williams plays] 164 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:12,541 ♪ Real love And the love ever after ♪ 165 00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:14,260 [indistinct chatter] 166 00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:19,781 -You Kev? -Yeah, why? 167 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:21,701 Me brother said you're getting married. 168 00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:25,341 -[sighs] -Top quality, good as new. 169 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,260 Bitch jilted me, didn't she? 170 00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:31,301 Do you want to try it on? 171 00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,620 [crowd cheering] 172 00:07:33,701 --> 00:07:36,021 ♪ I just wanna feel ♪ 173 00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:40,901 ♪ Real love Feel home that I live in ♪ 174 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,620 -I'm getting married! -[all cheering] 175 00:07:44,701 --> 00:07:47,740 ♪ 'Cause I got too much life Running through my veins ♪ 176 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:50,341 -[laughs] -♪ Going to waste ♪ 177 00:07:50,421 --> 00:07:51,581 You're dead, you are! 178 00:07:54,101 --> 00:07:55,701 One size fits all. 179 00:07:56,021 --> 00:07:57,581 -Getting married! -[all cheer] 180 00:07:57,661 --> 00:08:01,180 [music continues] ♪ And love ever after ♪ 181 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:07,221 ♪ There's a hole in my soul You can see it in my face ♪ 182 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,901 ♪ It's a real big place ♪ 183 00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:12,461 -Mandy, Mandy... -It's okay. [sighs] 184 00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:13,740 I've got some in me bag. 185 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,820 -Three-pack. -[Ian grunts] 186 00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:21,421 No, I-- I-- I can't! I can't! I'm sorry. 187 00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:23,260 -Ian! -Oh, shit, I'm sorry! 188 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,101 I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-- 189 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:26,981 What's up? What's the matter? 190 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,901 What is it? Don't you fancy me or summat? 191 00:08:37,661 --> 00:08:40,820 -What are you looking at? -[hoots] 192 00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:46,901 [hiccups] 193 00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:50,821 [doorbell ringing] 194 00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:55,460 All right! 195 00:08:55,941 --> 00:08:58,021 -[doorbell rings] -[Veronica] All right! 196 00:08:59,301 --> 00:09:00,501 Who is it? 197 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,100 Hello? 198 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:07,741 No, there's nobody there, love. Go back to bed. 199 00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:10,460 -No, it's nothing. -[Kev sighing] 200 00:09:10,661 --> 00:09:11,980 [Veronica] Oh, it's probably just kids. 201 00:09:12,061 --> 00:09:14,621 Get the baseball bat if you want, 202 00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:16,301 but I don't think you'll need it because-- 203 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,220 Veronica! 204 00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:24,460 Kev, you scared the... 205 00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,220 -What you doing down there? -Veronica Fisher... 206 00:09:29,381 --> 00:09:31,340 will you do me the honour of being my wife? 207 00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:33,301 [dogs barking] 208 00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:34,941 Is this a wind-up? 209 00:09:36,181 --> 00:09:37,381 [dogs barking] 210 00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,661 'Course I will, you daft bugger! [chuckles] 211 00:09:41,741 --> 00:09:44,021 [upbeat music plays] 212 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,421 [both laughing] 213 00:09:51,301 --> 00:09:53,021 -What's going on? -I don't know. 214 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,941 -[Ian] They look happy. -[Lip chuckles] Just think, 215 00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:56,501 that could've been you and Mandy Maguire. Ah! 216 00:09:56,581 --> 00:09:57,701 -Not funny. -Dick. 217 00:09:57,781 --> 00:10:00,061 [Veronica] Watch the door! [screaming] 218 00:10:00,941 --> 00:10:04,381 -[Veronica singing] -[water running] 219 00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,941 [birds chirping] 220 00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:09,621 -[Tina] Oh! Brill! -[girls cheering] 221 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:11,701 [Marie] Like a little boy in need of mothering. 222 00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,581 -[Kev] No, no, no, no! -[Veronica humming] 223 00:10:13,661 --> 00:10:15,980 [Kev] Veronica Fisher, will you do me the honour 224 00:10:16,061 --> 00:10:17,781 -of being my wife? -[Frank] ♪ La, la, la, la ♪ 225 00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:19,220 Hey, Carol! Can you-- 226 00:10:19,301 --> 00:10:20,541 My son-in-law! 227 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,781 [Frank] ♪ La, la, la, la... ♪ 228 00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:25,220 -[Kev] I'm getting married! -[all cheering] 229 00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:28,821 Right, come on, hurry up, sit down! -[indistinct chatter] 230 00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:31,100 [Veronica] Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh! 231 00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:33,021 Can we have a bit of hush, please? 232 00:10:34,381 --> 00:10:36,061 All right. Everyone settled? 233 00:10:36,141 --> 00:10:37,261 We've got an announcement to make. 234 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:38,501 -We've got-- -Do we not need drinks? 235 00:10:38,581 --> 00:10:40,340 -[Veronica] Kev! -[Kev] But-- For the toast. 236 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,421 -Are you getting married? -[Fiona gasping] 237 00:10:42,501 --> 00:10:43,821 -Oh! Debbie! -Is that it? 238 00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:45,181 -[Steve] Eh? -Yes. 239 00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:46,781 Kev and me are getting married! 240 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:49,301 [all cheering] 241 00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:50,701 A real wedding? A proper wedding? 242 00:10:50,781 --> 00:10:52,220 -[Veronica] Mm. -Oh, can I be the bridesmaid? 243 00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,421 [Veronica] Of course you can! 244 00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,821 -Nice one, Kev! -[all cheering] 245 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,340 [Veronica] Aw, sorry, kiddo, maybe next time. 246 00:10:59,421 --> 00:11:01,421 -Congratulations, Kev! -[Debbie] Yes! 247 00:11:02,141 --> 00:11:03,421 -[Lip] Well done. -[Debbie] Aw... 248 00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:04,980 [Veronica] Come here, monkey boy! 249 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,381 How long's it take to get a divorce? 250 00:11:15,661 --> 00:11:17,381 Think you have to get married first, Kev. 251 00:11:17,701 --> 00:11:18,541 I'm already married. 252 00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:22,381 I don't even know where she is. 253 00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:24,141 Last time I heard, she was in Carlisle. 254 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,901 All right, look, I know a decent solicitor. 255 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,701 A mate of mine, if you want, I can give him a call. 256 00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,860 [Fiona] You're never gonna get away with it, Kev. 257 00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:32,141 -Why have you never told her? -Fuck knows. 258 00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:33,621 We were only married a year. 259 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,421 You're gonna have to tell her 260 00:11:35,501 --> 00:11:38,021 before she broadcasts it to the entire estate. 261 00:11:38,301 --> 00:11:41,340 'Ey up, 'ey up, 'ey! 262 00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:42,980 So, this is where you're hiding! 263 00:11:43,061 --> 00:11:44,141 [women chuckling] 264 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:45,860 -[Kev] Yeah. -[woman gasping] 265 00:11:45,941 --> 00:11:48,340 -Might be a bit late for that. -[indistinct chatter] 266 00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:50,021 [sighs] 267 00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,340 What do you think? 268 00:11:59,781 --> 00:12:01,541 I think it might need a few alterations! 269 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,061 [laughing] 270 00:12:03,141 --> 00:12:05,621 [screams, laughing] 271 00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:09,381 Right, on my side, we've got me mum, Uncle Terry, 272 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:12,261 Mick and Sylvia, Janet, Rhonda, Clem and Pete. 273 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,061 And then there's me brothers, Barry, Mitch, little Leo. 274 00:12:15,381 --> 00:12:16,781 No one's talking to our Phil. 275 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:18,661 And Marty's still in prison. 276 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:20,661 -[man talking on TV] -What about your side? 277 00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:22,261 [man on TV] Two-to-one favourite... 278 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,301 Kev? 279 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,581 Whoever. 280 00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,381 [sighs] Well, who do you want to invite? 281 00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:29,460 I'm telling you now, your Kelly's not coming for starters. 282 00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:33,781 Well, you do the list then. And you'll get your own way, won't you? 283 00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:37,141 -What is your problem? -[Kev] I haven't got a problem. 284 00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:39,501 [Veronica exhales angrily] Can't see your face! 285 00:12:39,781 --> 00:12:41,141 I'm not dragging you round, Kev. 286 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,220 If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together. 287 00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:45,860 There is no way I'm sorting it all out on me own. 288 00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:47,581 Just because we're getting married, 289 00:12:47,661 --> 00:12:48,941 I'm not gonna turn into one of those women 290 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:50,620 -that shuffles round, trying-- -Veronica. 291 00:12:50,701 --> 00:12:51,781 What? 292 00:12:54,061 --> 00:12:55,340 I've gotta go to work. 293 00:12:59,901 --> 00:13:01,381 It's Kev. Kev Ball. 294 00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,541 Yeah. Sorry to ring you out of the blue. 295 00:13:03,941 --> 00:13:06,941 Uh, you haven't got a contact number for your Roxy, have you? 296 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,620 [indistinct chatter] 297 00:13:09,661 --> 00:13:13,100 You're joking? GBH? What happened? 298 00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:16,421 [indistinct chatter] 299 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,340 [mouths] Fuck! [speaks normally] Golf club? 300 00:13:19,061 --> 00:13:21,701 Jesus! She took 'em clean off? 301 00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:26,340 [stammers] Um, when you visit her, can you pass on a message for me? 302 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,980 Yeah. Tell her l want a divorce. 303 00:13:34,701 --> 00:13:35,541 [sniffs] 304 00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,541 [door opens] 305 00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:40,941 Are you Ian Gallagher? 306 00:13:41,781 --> 00:13:42,901 You're fucking dead! 307 00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:44,381 -[Ian] What have I done? -[Kash] Leave him. 308 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:46,301 -[Donny] Get here, you! -[Kash] Leave the lad alone. 309 00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:50,301 Do you think you can force yourself on our Mandy, Gallagher? 310 00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:51,821 Well, you've picked the wrong one! 311 00:13:51,901 --> 00:13:53,541 -[Donny] Fuck off, Paki! -[Joey] You're dead!. 312 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:56,021 Do you hear me? Do you hear me, Gallagher? 313 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,061 Leave him! 314 00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,901 He'll be out the back and down the street by now. 315 00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:03,901 Come on. 316 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,340 Tell him he's a marked man. 317 00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:19,181 -[Kash] Ian? -[distant shouting] 318 00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,740 -Ian? -[knocking on door] 319 00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:24,340 [Kash] It's all right, they've gone. I've put the lock on. 320 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,701 I didn't touch her, Kash. I swear, she just-- 321 00:14:39,781 --> 00:14:41,381 It's all right. Come here. 322 00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:46,340 [dogs barking] 323 00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,421 All clear. 324 00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:08,661 [Ian] Why don't I like her? 325 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,620 Why couldn't I touch her? 326 00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:13,061 You know why. 327 00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:14,541 No, l don't. 328 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,381 'Cause loads of real lads fancy her. Why can't I? 329 00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:21,421 -[sighs] Because you're-- -What? 330 00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:22,781 A poof? 331 00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:24,301 Like you? 332 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:26,340 With a wife and two kids? 333 00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:28,661 'Cause maybe that's what I want. 334 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:32,421 Maybe, if I try hard enough, I can convince myself I'm straight. 335 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,141 'Cause I tell you what, Kash, 336 00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:36,220 it'd make my life a fuck of a lot easier. 337 00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:37,301 [sighs] 338 00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:40,620 You think? Easier? 339 00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:44,021 Lying to your family for the next 20 years. 340 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,541 Listening to people in the shop and in the pub, 341 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:49,701 making jokes about how filthy it is 342 00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:51,421 without being able to say anything. 343 00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:54,141 Sleeping with a woman every night of your life, 344 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,220 even though you don't like the feel of her skin. 345 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,460 [sighs] 346 00:16:01,181 --> 00:16:02,261 You think that's easy? 347 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,901 [man shouting on TV] 348 00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,821 [Lip] Mandy Maguire called round earlier. 349 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:20,301 Said she'd got the wrong brother, fancied seeing what an older man could do. 350 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,301 -[boxing bell dings] -[grunts] 351 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,460 [Lip groaning] 352 00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:25,181 -[Ian] Wanker! -[audience cheering on TV] 353 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:29,941 [Ian and Lip grunting] 354 00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:34,340 -[audience cheering on TV] -[Ian grunting] 355 00:16:39,141 --> 00:16:40,460 [can cracks open] 356 00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,021 [Lip] What did they do? 357 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,821 Ian, what did they say? 358 00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:50,901 What do you think? 359 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,701 I wasn't even bothered about getting married until he brought it up. 360 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:04,981 Now, it's like I'm dragging him down the bleeding aisle. 361 00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:06,461 Don't know what's up with him. 362 00:17:06,541 --> 00:17:08,900 Last few days, he's had a face like a slapped arse. 363 00:17:08,981 --> 00:17:10,701 Maybe he doesn't really want to get married. 364 00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,541 Maybe he only asked you 'cause he thinks that's what you want. 365 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,581 Nine years, no ring on your finger. 366 00:17:17,261 --> 00:17:19,140 Most women would've ditched him by now. 367 00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:20,821 I've thought about it over the years, 368 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:23,221 but it's never really mattered, I mean, you just know, don't you? 369 00:17:23,301 --> 00:17:26,180 Whether someone's right or not. If it works, it works. 370 00:17:26,261 --> 00:17:29,301 [sighs] The way things are between us, it's perfect. 371 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,541 So, why change it? 372 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,821 What's the one thing that breaks up long-term couples? 373 00:17:35,861 --> 00:17:37,781 Other than the pressies and the piss-up, 374 00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:40,341 give me three good reasons why you wanna get married. 375 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,101 [Kev sighing] 376 00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:48,541 [sighs] 377 00:17:49,141 --> 00:17:51,221 Kev, come out. 378 00:17:54,221 --> 00:17:55,781 [sighs] 379 00:17:57,381 --> 00:17:58,221 What? 380 00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:00,301 Why are we getting married? 381 00:18:02,141 --> 00:18:03,981 I think I was excited 'cause you're meant to be. 382 00:18:05,021 --> 00:18:06,940 -You know, the idea of it all. -Hmm. 383 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,461 Nice dress, fancy ring, 384 00:18:11,221 --> 00:18:13,061 people looking at you like you're summat special. 385 00:18:13,141 --> 00:18:14,021 Hmm. 386 00:18:16,021 --> 00:18:17,581 But when I stopped and thought about it... 387 00:18:18,621 --> 00:18:19,741 it just seemed pointless. 388 00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:25,261 We don't need a piece of paper to tell us we love each other, do we? 389 00:18:25,341 --> 00:18:28,221 [sighs] No, that's exactly-- that's exactly what I was... 390 00:18:29,381 --> 00:18:30,341 Uh, hang on. 391 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,101 This isn't a test, is it? 392 00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:35,660 One of them women things where you pretend you don't wanna do something 393 00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:36,981 to see if I'll try and talk you round? 394 00:18:37,061 --> 00:18:40,381 [scoffs] Well, if it is, you've just failed! 395 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:44,821 Well, what will we tell people? 396 00:18:46,861 --> 00:18:48,141 We've changed our minds. 397 00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:51,341 Actually, don't tell 'em anything 398 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:52,541 till they've bought the presents. 399 00:18:53,101 --> 00:18:55,741 Size of my family, we'll get the whole house kitted out! 400 00:18:55,821 --> 00:18:58,101 [both laugh] 401 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,341 [Veronica laughing] 402 00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:06,700 -[Kev] Do you know what? -[Veronica chuckles] 403 00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,501 -I love the arse off you. -[Veronica chuckles] 404 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:11,900 How could you not? [chuckles] 405 00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:13,861 [Kev moans] 406 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:15,900 -[doorbell ringing] -[Kev] Mm. 407 00:19:15,981 --> 00:19:17,981 -[Veronica] Mm. Ignore it. -[Kev] Mm. 408 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,261 Mm. Mm... 409 00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:23,261 [Carol] Veronica! Veronica! Hurry up! 410 00:19:23,341 --> 00:19:25,700 -I'm gonna wet meself out here! -[Veronica groans] 411 00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,781 -[Carol] Picture the scene. -["Wedding March" playing] 412 00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:29,700 Beautiful church, 413 00:19:29,781 --> 00:19:32,541 sun shining, all your friends 414 00:19:32,621 --> 00:19:34,141 and family gathered together. 415 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,341 Kev waiting at the front in his new beige suit, 416 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,061 nervous, excited. 417 00:19:39,981 --> 00:19:43,261 Then suddenly, you appear, 418 00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:48,141 the blushing bride. Radiant, voluptuous! 419 00:19:48,741 --> 00:19:53,301 You're walking arm in arm with your father down the aisle. 420 00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:55,741 [sighs] He's proud, 421 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:57,461 he's tearful, 422 00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:58,940 He's dead. 423 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,621 Well, that's what he would've wanted... 424 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,541 had the good Lord not seen fit to take him away from us. 425 00:20:07,621 --> 00:20:08,581 So... 426 00:20:10,781 --> 00:20:12,461 he left you this instead. 427 00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:17,021 He never made a will because he didn't want people 428 00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:20,261 squabbling over it, so he put that aside. 429 00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:22,700 You know what he was like. 430 00:20:23,581 --> 00:20:24,700 Old-fashioned. 431 00:20:24,781 --> 00:20:26,700 Reckoned any father worth his salt should be able 432 00:20:26,781 --> 00:20:28,341 to pay for his daughter's wedding. 433 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:29,420 Five grand? 434 00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:33,821 He was a good man, Veronica. 435 00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:38,341 And he wanted me to keep that until the time was right. 436 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:39,821 ["The Great Escape" theme plays] 437 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:41,381 [Carol] How do I turn this thing off? 438 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,741 [music stops] 439 00:20:47,381 --> 00:20:48,341 [knocking on door] 440 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:51,581 [Steve] Yeah, all right! 441 00:20:52,781 --> 00:20:53,781 Ian Gallagher. 442 00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:56,180 Tell Ian Gallagher we want him out here now. 443 00:20:56,261 --> 00:20:58,261 Ian? Have you seen him? 444 00:20:58,581 --> 00:21:00,940 Listen, if you see him, you tell him I'm looking for him, all right? 445 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:02,461 All right? 446 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,461 Long story. 447 00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:12,501 [door closing] 448 00:21:19,221 --> 00:21:20,581 [Mandy chuckling] 449 00:21:21,021 --> 00:21:22,420 Why did you lie, Mandy? 450 00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:23,981 Why did you tell them I attacked you? 451 00:21:24,061 --> 00:21:26,541 -Get him away from me. -Tell 'em the truth, Mandy! 452 00:21:26,621 --> 00:21:29,741 -Please! They're gonna kill me! -Get him away from me! 453 00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:32,621 You need locking up! Fucking pervert! 454 00:21:48,501 --> 00:21:50,660 [dog barking] 455 00:21:50,861 --> 00:21:53,180 [car alarm wailing in distance] 456 00:21:53,781 --> 00:21:55,660 [slot machine whirs and chimes] 457 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,861 Kev! Kev! Look! 458 00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:01,700 Ex-council houses for all and sundry! 459 00:22:01,781 --> 00:22:03,981 Ex-council houses for all and sundry! 460 00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:07,501 Buy your own house! All right. Betray your class. 461 00:22:09,021 --> 00:22:10,221 Right-to-buy scheme. 462 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:12,180 Council are selling off the houses. 463 00:22:12,861 --> 00:22:14,700 -So? -So... 464 00:22:14,781 --> 00:22:17,501 five grand plus the bit we've got in the bank. 465 00:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,741 We could almost buy our place outright. 466 00:22:19,821 --> 00:22:21,141 Our own home, Kev. 467 00:22:22,221 --> 00:22:23,341 What do you think? 468 00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:25,381 Quick walk down the aisle, couple of I do's. 469 00:22:25,460 --> 00:22:27,261 It'll be worth it to get our own place. 470 00:22:27,341 --> 00:22:30,061 But we gotta get a move on, closing date's end of the month. 471 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:32,581 [indistinct chatter] 472 00:22:33,301 --> 00:22:34,341 What's up? 473 00:22:37,460 --> 00:22:39,180 I can't marry you, Veronica. 474 00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:42,460 There's something you should know. 475 00:22:46,261 --> 00:22:47,221 [Veronica] Fuck me. 476 00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:50,581 Fucking hell. [sighs] 477 00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:54,301 Roxy Benson. [scoffing] 478 00:22:55,061 --> 00:22:56,261 I remember her from school. 479 00:22:58,101 --> 00:23:00,141 -She were gorgeous. -She were a head case. 480 00:23:00,581 --> 00:23:03,940 She used to fucking throw plates at me. She couldn't handle her drink, 481 00:23:04,021 --> 00:23:06,420 I'll tell you, talk about fiery. That's-- That's where I got 482 00:23:06,501 --> 00:23:08,821 that scar on the back of me neck. [sighs] 483 00:23:09,781 --> 00:23:10,900 Oh... [sighs] 484 00:23:10,981 --> 00:23:13,781 ...the amount of times I nearly told you over the years, 485 00:23:13,861 --> 00:23:15,141 but... [sighs] 486 00:23:15,221 --> 00:23:17,301 ...you know, the further away it got, 487 00:23:17,381 --> 00:23:19,700 the more unreal it seemed. 488 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,420 That's the only thing that l have got to prove 489 00:23:24,501 --> 00:23:25,581 that it ever happened. 490 00:23:28,381 --> 00:23:30,261 You look a right twat on there, don't you? 491 00:23:30,341 --> 00:23:31,541 -[Kev chuckling] -A fucking mullet. 492 00:23:31,621 --> 00:23:32,781 [both chuckling] 493 00:23:32,861 --> 00:23:34,821 That's worse than finding out you were married. 494 00:23:39,061 --> 00:23:40,021 I'm sorry. 495 00:23:40,541 --> 00:23:41,420 [sighs] 496 00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:43,581 Okay, I just... 497 00:23:44,621 --> 00:23:46,420 I didn't want anything to spoil it for us... 498 00:23:47,501 --> 00:23:49,781 so... I buried it. 499 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,221 How long will it take to divorce her? 500 00:23:54,821 --> 00:23:57,460 [sighs] Six months. I don't know, maybe longer. 501 00:23:58,581 --> 00:24:00,660 I think we might have to forget about buying a house. 502 00:24:04,821 --> 00:24:07,381 Aw, I'm sorry. [smooches] 503 00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:10,021 [sighs] 504 00:24:12,101 --> 00:24:13,021 [Veronica] Hang on. 505 00:24:14,981 --> 00:24:16,981 -What? -Well, 506 00:24:17,061 --> 00:24:19,261 we don't actually have to get married. [chuckles] 507 00:24:20,581 --> 00:24:22,021 If my mum wants a wedding... 508 00:24:23,141 --> 00:24:24,460 why don't we give her a wedding? 509 00:24:26,261 --> 00:24:27,501 [Fiona] You're gonna fake it? 510 00:24:27,581 --> 00:24:29,821 -Why not? -You can't! 511 00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:32,301 Why not? We'll still be married. 512 00:24:32,741 --> 00:24:35,341 -It just won't be legal. -[both laughing] 513 00:24:36,621 --> 00:24:39,861 Dress, rings, photographer, the works. 514 00:24:39,940 --> 00:24:41,501 [Veronica] It's got to be like the real thing. 515 00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:43,061 -Except cheaper. -Except cheaper. 516 00:24:48,301 --> 00:24:49,301 [Veronica gasping] 517 00:24:49,381 --> 00:24:51,301 -Your wedding car, madam. -Oh, Steve! 518 00:24:52,221 --> 00:24:53,621 [laughs] 519 00:24:54,261 --> 00:24:56,621 -[Steve] You might have to be in black! -Whatever! [laughs] 520 00:25:01,101 --> 00:25:04,101 Quentin, how do you fancy a couple of months' free rent? 521 00:25:06,061 --> 00:25:07,221 Repeat after me. 522 00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:11,381 I, Veronica Carol Fisher, 523 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:15,781 take this man, Kevin Alan Ball... 524 00:25:16,061 --> 00:25:19,180 [Veronica] Take this man, Kevin Alan Ball. 525 00:25:19,501 --> 00:25:22,261 [Quentin] ...to be my lawfully wedded husband. 526 00:25:23,301 --> 00:25:24,900 Isn't it illegal to impersonate a vicar? 527 00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:26,700 You're not a vicar, you're a registrar. 528 00:25:27,101 --> 00:25:27,981 Registrar... 529 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:30,180 Even so. 530 00:25:38,861 --> 00:25:40,021 [Donny] Hello, Gallagher. 531 00:25:43,180 --> 00:25:44,101 [grunts] 532 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:46,940 Tell your brother, no one gives us the run-around. 533 00:25:47,021 --> 00:25:48,741 Either he shows his face tomorrow, 534 00:25:48,821 --> 00:25:50,061 or we'll fucking kill him! 535 00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:51,541 -You understand? -Yeah. 536 00:25:51,621 --> 00:25:52,861 -You understand? -Yeah. 537 00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,141 -Good. -[groaning] 538 00:25:58,220 --> 00:25:59,101 [Lip groaning] 539 00:26:01,621 --> 00:26:03,581 [grunting] 540 00:26:04,660 --> 00:26:06,341 [Veronica] Is there something you're not telling us? 541 00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:07,741 [Ian] It's just got out of hand. 542 00:26:07,821 --> 00:26:10,061 It's Mandy Maguire. She's not someone you say no to. 543 00:26:10,141 --> 00:26:11,420 I don't know why you'd want to? 544 00:26:11,501 --> 00:26:13,101 -Jailbait! -Er, Kev! 545 00:26:13,501 --> 00:26:14,940 Oh, come on, you can't say she isn't foxy! 546 00:26:15,021 --> 00:26:18,460 Right, Ian, why don't I just swing round there, see if they can't listen to reason. 547 00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:20,541 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, posh lad! 548 00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:23,460 -You'll come back in bin bags. -Yeah, so what, Kev, roll over and die? 549 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:24,741 You just can't give in to these people. 550 00:26:24,821 --> 00:26:26,141 [Kev] I'll tell you what, I'll go round. 551 00:26:26,220 --> 00:26:28,141 I know their old man from the pub. He's all right. 552 00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:31,460 Well, as violent pissheads go, hmm? 553 00:26:32,021 --> 00:26:34,460 [crows cawing] 554 00:26:34,781 --> 00:26:37,141 [dog barking] 555 00:26:42,621 --> 00:26:45,261 [dog growling] 556 00:26:50,621 --> 00:26:53,021 -[doorbell rings] -[dog barking] 557 00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:58,781 Where is he? Where the bleedin' hell is he? 558 00:26:58,861 --> 00:27:00,460 He's got his stag do in an hour! 559 00:27:00,900 --> 00:27:02,180 -[Steve] Here you go. -Mm. 560 00:27:02,501 --> 00:27:03,541 [clears throat] 561 00:27:04,261 --> 00:27:05,700 -Uh, do you want another one? -Ta. 562 00:27:06,940 --> 00:27:08,581 I wouldn't know if anything's happened to him. 563 00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:11,180 Eh, that eldest's a maniac! He did for Sally Sergeant. 564 00:27:11,261 --> 00:27:13,180 Only got off 'cause he intimidated the witness. 565 00:27:13,621 --> 00:27:16,180 -Veronica! -Hey! He started this mess! 566 00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:18,460 I'm going to end up a widow before I'm even married! 567 00:27:18,541 --> 00:27:19,581 -[Fiona] Um... -[stammers] 568 00:27:19,660 --> 00:27:20,821 Well, you know, "married". 569 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,460 All right, now take your time with this one. 570 00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:25,420 All right? You never know you might have to identify the body. 571 00:27:25,501 --> 00:27:26,700 -[horn honking] -[knocking on door] 572 00:27:26,781 --> 00:27:27,900 [gasps] Lip! 573 00:27:30,981 --> 00:27:32,220 -[Lip] Oh, it's the police! -Oh, no! 574 00:27:32,301 --> 00:27:33,141 [Fiona] Jesus! 575 00:27:33,781 --> 00:27:36,021 [Lip] Oh, it's all right, it's only Helmet. 576 00:27:36,101 --> 00:27:38,501 -He's got Kev with him. -Oh, thank God for that! 577 00:27:38,821 --> 00:27:40,420 I pictured myself at his funeral! 578 00:27:41,101 --> 00:27:42,741 Black does nothing for me legs! [chuckles] 579 00:27:42,821 --> 00:27:43,861 [both chuckle] 580 00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:46,621 I thought I were gonna be there all night! 581 00:27:47,501 --> 00:27:48,821 -Tony gave me a lift. -[Veronica sighs] 582 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,900 -What happened? -[Kev sighs] 583 00:27:52,861 --> 00:27:54,821 Well, l goes round there, 584 00:27:55,301 --> 00:27:57,900 I ask if l can have a word, you know, private and that. 585 00:27:58,341 --> 00:28:00,301 Anyway, fair enough, he invites me in... 586 00:28:01,101 --> 00:28:02,781 and they're all sat there in a row. 587 00:28:03,301 --> 00:28:06,180 Every single one of them on the couch, arms folded, 588 00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:07,981 -'cking Alsatian at my feet... -[Veronica sighs] 589 00:28:08,381 --> 00:28:09,220 ...growling. 590 00:28:10,581 --> 00:28:13,141 So, I explained the situation. 591 00:28:13,741 --> 00:28:15,021 I put Ian's case forward. 592 00:28:15,541 --> 00:28:17,900 Misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah. 593 00:28:18,341 --> 00:28:19,581 Didn't mean to offend her. 594 00:28:20,940 --> 00:28:22,581 They listened. Fair do's. 595 00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:24,741 They offer us a beer and a spliff. 596 00:28:29,980 --> 00:28:31,101 And, well, basically, 597 00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:33,541 well, I agree to keep me fecking nose out of it. 598 00:28:34,141 --> 00:28:35,581 -Kev! -[Veronica] Is that it? 599 00:28:35,660 --> 00:28:37,061 -Well, what could l do? -[Carl sighs] 600 00:28:37,141 --> 00:28:39,261 Hey, but they flogged us a camcorder for the wedding, though. 601 00:28:39,581 --> 00:28:40,741 You useless wanker! 602 00:28:40,821 --> 00:28:42,621 [grunting] I thought you were dead! 603 00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,660 I can't believe I'm marrying you! 604 00:28:44,741 --> 00:28:45,741 You're not. 605 00:28:45,821 --> 00:28:47,381 -[Lip] Ian! -[door closing] 606 00:28:47,741 --> 00:28:49,980 -[Kev grunting] -[Tony] You see this badge? 607 00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,341 Now, I know it doesn't count for a lot round here these days, 608 00:28:53,420 --> 00:28:54,861 but we haven't lost the fight yet, you know. 609 00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:56,501 -[scoffs] -One word in the right ear 610 00:28:56,581 --> 00:28:57,741 could make things go away. 611 00:28:58,021 --> 00:29:00,261 [clicks tongue] I didn't want you getting involved. 612 00:29:00,341 --> 00:29:01,220 Why not? 613 00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:03,420 We don't need the police fighting our battles for us. 614 00:29:03,501 --> 00:29:06,261 No, not the police. Me, Tony. 615 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:10,180 Do you fancy coming out tomorrow? 616 00:29:10,781 --> 00:29:13,261 Police are having this friends and family day in Tatton Park. 617 00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:16,420 Bite to eat, a few drinks. Let your hair down. 618 00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:18,861 [chuckles] They usually have a rifle range, 619 00:29:18,940 --> 00:29:20,700 so you can get your own back on the scum. 620 00:29:23,501 --> 00:29:25,220 It's Kev and Veronica's wedding tomorrow. 621 00:29:25,861 --> 00:29:27,501 We're off out on the hen night now. 622 00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:29,581 Right. Right. 623 00:29:31,341 --> 00:29:32,660 So, do you fancy it or not? [chuckles] 624 00:29:33,220 --> 00:29:36,581 [Veronica and Fiona laughing] 625 00:29:37,940 --> 00:29:40,420 Okay, you ready? Oh, me chuff! 626 00:29:40,621 --> 00:29:42,660 -Oh, come on, V! -[Veronica laughing] 627 00:29:46,381 --> 00:29:48,061 [Veronica laughing] 628 00:29:49,381 --> 00:29:50,781 [Fiona] Let's go! 629 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:54,021 There's only one way out of this. You know that, don't you? 630 00:29:54,101 --> 00:29:57,381 [Veronica and Fiona laughing] 631 00:29:58,821 --> 00:29:59,660 Tell 'em. 632 00:30:00,381 --> 00:30:02,420 [laughter continues] 633 00:30:08,021 --> 00:30:10,101 [laughs] Where am I sleeping? 634 00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:13,301 -Dad's bed's free! -[Veronica laughs] 635 00:30:13,660 --> 00:30:15,581 -[Fiona] Bugger off! -[both laughing] 636 00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:18,021 -You can always kip in with me! -[Veronica laughs] Yeah. 637 00:30:18,101 --> 00:30:19,460 As long as you keep your hands to yourself. 638 00:30:19,541 --> 00:30:21,021 -Oh! -[Fiona squeals] 639 00:30:21,101 --> 00:30:23,660 -Shh! Shh! -[Veronica laughs] 640 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,660 Shit! 641 00:30:37,581 --> 00:30:38,781 [thudding] 642 00:30:38,861 --> 00:30:39,861 [grunts] 643 00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:54,381 [man on PA] The 545 service to London is leaving from Bay C in five minutes. 644 00:30:54,460 --> 00:30:58,501 The 545 service to London is leaving from Bay C in five minutes. 645 00:30:58,581 --> 00:31:00,180 [doors hissing] 646 00:31:17,660 --> 00:31:18,821 [Mandy] Stay the fuck in. 647 00:31:26,460 --> 00:31:27,741 Mandy. 648 00:31:31,061 --> 00:31:32,940 Move! Shift away now! 649 00:31:33,741 --> 00:31:35,341 I mean it, Gallagher, try anything and you're dead! 650 00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:37,341 Look, I'm dead anyway! Your brothers'll see to that! 651 00:31:37,420 --> 00:31:39,220 Mandy, please, please! There's something-- 652 00:31:39,301 --> 00:31:41,101 I need to talk to you properly. 653 00:31:42,341 --> 00:31:43,301 Please. 654 00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:45,381 I'm gay. 655 00:31:50,061 --> 00:31:51,381 [Mandy] That the best you can come up with? 656 00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:53,900 Mandy, if I was gonna make something up, do you think I'd-- 657 00:31:54,341 --> 00:31:57,420 I'm hanging myself here, you know that, 'cause no one knows. 658 00:31:57,861 --> 00:31:59,940 No one in school, no one on the estate. 659 00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:02,061 Lip only knows 'cause he worked it out. 660 00:32:02,660 --> 00:32:04,700 You're the only person I've ever told. 661 00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:08,581 Like told, like said it to, out loud. 662 00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:10,781 Look. 663 00:32:17,621 --> 00:32:18,581 Nothing. 664 00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:21,301 I just haven't got the right equipment. 665 00:32:22,061 --> 00:32:23,420 You don't look the gay type. 666 00:32:24,781 --> 00:32:25,740 Is that better? 667 00:32:26,261 --> 00:32:27,740 -[Ian laughs] -Piss off. You know what I mean. 668 00:32:27,821 --> 00:32:28,781 [both laugh] 669 00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:32,740 People will suss it out, though. Fifteen, no girlfriend. 670 00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:34,621 And all them lads at school to gawp at. 671 00:32:35,940 --> 00:32:38,021 -You know what you need. -What? 672 00:32:38,101 --> 00:32:39,141 A girlfriend. 673 00:32:39,660 --> 00:32:42,220 You know like film stars do when they don't want people knowing. 674 00:32:46,061 --> 00:32:48,301 [chuckles] What do you get out of it? 675 00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:50,621 Do you know what it's like being me? 676 00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,861 All them morons hitting on me, trying to get into me knickers. 677 00:32:54,381 --> 00:32:56,781 I want to find someone nice, someone interesting. 678 00:32:57,501 --> 00:32:58,460 Someone like you. 679 00:33:00,341 --> 00:33:02,021 -Except not gay. -[chuckles] 680 00:33:04,501 --> 00:33:05,781 Do you fancy coming to a wedding? 681 00:33:06,781 --> 00:33:10,781 [snores] 682 00:33:13,501 --> 00:33:14,420 [grunts] 683 00:33:16,740 --> 00:33:17,740 [grunts] 684 00:33:34,501 --> 00:33:36,541 [sighs] 685 00:33:40,980 --> 00:33:42,021 [thudding] 686 00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:45,501 [indistinct chatter] 687 00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:48,660 Oh, shit! 688 00:33:50,021 --> 00:33:51,460 [thudding] 689 00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:23,421 [screams] 690 00:34:23,501 --> 00:34:27,541 [grunting] 691 00:34:27,820 --> 00:34:30,180 -[Kev grunts, screams] -[Marty groans] 692 00:34:34,860 --> 00:34:39,021 It's me! Marty! How yer doin', mate? 693 00:34:39,101 --> 00:34:40,300 [laughs] 694 00:34:43,501 --> 00:34:44,340 [groans] 695 00:34:44,981 --> 00:34:47,621 Couldn't you have rung the doorbell or something, like any normal person? 696 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:50,541 Didn't wanna wake you up, Kev. You know Marty, thoughtful as ever-- Spunk face! 697 00:34:52,581 --> 00:34:54,381 Mm. You got any sugar? 698 00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:56,220 Yeah. 699 00:34:57,860 --> 00:35:00,941 Cheers. Yeah, me mam rang, told me you were getting married, 700 00:35:01,181 --> 00:35:02,501 said send a card. 701 00:35:02,581 --> 00:35:05,661 I'm thinking, "Sod that." Big sister getting hooked, 702 00:35:05,741 --> 00:35:07,820 gonna be there-- Monkey spunk! 703 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:09,421 [scoffs] 704 00:35:09,901 --> 00:35:12,381 Hey, wouldn't have missed this for the world. [sniffs] 705 00:35:12,461 --> 00:35:14,061 You know what they say about Marty-- Marty! 706 00:35:14,141 --> 00:35:15,501 Never misses a party. 707 00:35:15,581 --> 00:35:17,141 Where have you come from anyway? 708 00:35:17,221 --> 00:35:18,421 Last time l heard, you were in prison. 709 00:35:18,501 --> 00:35:20,421 Yeah, I was. Five stretch. 710 00:35:20,820 --> 00:35:21,901 When did you get out? 711 00:35:22,741 --> 00:35:23,661 Last night. 712 00:35:29,340 --> 00:35:31,501 -What? -I need to talk to Veronica. 713 00:35:31,820 --> 00:35:33,381 [indistinct chatter] 714 00:35:33,941 --> 00:35:35,541 It's the day of the wedding. It's bad luck. 715 00:35:39,101 --> 00:35:40,701 What have you got on your face? 716 00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:43,421 -[sighs] -What's he in for? 717 00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:45,941 Aggravated burglary and arson. 718 00:35:46,661 --> 00:35:48,780 Do you remember the dole office going up on election day? 719 00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:50,101 -Yeah. -[Veronica] That were him. 720 00:35:50,621 --> 00:35:51,941 He loves setting fire to things. 721 00:35:52,021 --> 00:35:54,300 He's a maniac. He came at me. 722 00:35:54,381 --> 00:35:55,621 Almost felt me heart stopping there. 723 00:35:56,261 --> 00:35:58,101 Then we're having a brew and he starts all that... 724 00:35:58,621 --> 00:35:59,941 -What's that? -[Veronica] Tourette's, 725 00:36:00,021 --> 00:36:04,021 Coupled with hypomania. It's a psychologist's wet dream. 726 00:36:04,541 --> 00:36:05,741 What are you gonna do? 727 00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:08,181 Oh, ship him out, preferably back to prison, 728 00:36:08,261 --> 00:36:11,541 because if there's one person you can rely on to really fuck things up, 729 00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:13,261 -it's Marty. -[mouths] 730 00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:17,661 [Marty grunts] 731 00:36:17,981 --> 00:36:21,141 You can't stay, Marty, you're in prison. 732 00:36:21,501 --> 00:36:24,061 It's only a Cat D, Veronica, they practically give you your own key. 733 00:36:24,141 --> 00:36:26,261 [sighs] You've got to go back, Marty. 734 00:36:26,340 --> 00:36:27,261 [grunts] 735 00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:29,261 It was nice of you to make the effort... 736 00:36:29,501 --> 00:36:31,421 -[grunts] -...but if they catch you, 737 00:36:31,780 --> 00:36:32,741 that's your parole gone. 738 00:36:34,421 --> 00:36:35,661 How long have you got left? 739 00:36:36,181 --> 00:36:38,221 -Eighteen months-- Wanking! -Exactly. 740 00:36:39,181 --> 00:36:40,261 No time. 741 00:36:40,860 --> 00:36:43,581 Yeah, but it's your wedding day, Veronica. Bucket-- Bucket-- Bi! 742 00:36:43,661 --> 00:36:46,261 [sighs] They'll be looking for you. 743 00:36:46,901 --> 00:36:49,340 Why don't you go back, hand yourself in? 744 00:36:49,421 --> 00:36:51,181 -[grunts] -Tell 'em it was a mistake, 745 00:36:51,261 --> 00:36:53,380 moment of madness, won't happen again. 746 00:36:54,101 --> 00:36:56,661 Me and Kev will back you up, make sure they listen to you. 747 00:36:56,741 --> 00:36:58,300 [grunts] 748 00:36:58,780 --> 00:36:59,941 You know it's for the best. 749 00:37:00,421 --> 00:37:01,261 Buckets! 750 00:37:02,621 --> 00:37:03,701 -Drink up. -Mm. 751 00:37:03,780 --> 00:37:06,021 If we get our skates on, we can have you back before breakfast. 752 00:37:06,101 --> 00:37:08,780 I am not going back, Ronnie! It's your wedding day. 753 00:37:08,860 --> 00:37:11,221 I'm not missing your wedding day, all right? 754 00:37:12,221 --> 00:37:14,941 [sighs, mouths] 755 00:37:15,340 --> 00:37:16,421 What time is it? 756 00:37:17,061 --> 00:37:19,741 -Quarter to twelve. -[Veronica sighs] We've got two hours. 757 00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,581 Veronica, we're just gonna have to let him come, 758 00:37:21,661 --> 00:37:23,901 -and we'll sort it out after. -No way, Kev! 759 00:37:24,181 --> 00:37:25,981 I'm not having that nutcase at my wedding! 760 00:37:26,461 --> 00:37:28,780 One wrong word and everything'll go ballistic! 761 00:37:28,860 --> 00:37:30,141 Can you imagine the service? 762 00:37:30,221 --> 00:37:32,300 "Do you, Veronica"-- "Bucket bit!"-- "Fisher, 763 00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:33,261 take this man, Kevin"-- 764 00:37:33,340 --> 00:37:34,981 "Buckety! Buckety!"-- "Ball?" 765 00:37:35,780 --> 00:37:37,300 -[laughs] Sorry! -Well, that wouldn't be so bad. 766 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,501 -[Veronica groans] -[all laugh] 767 00:37:38,581 --> 00:37:40,061 We'd be laughed out the bloody building! 768 00:37:40,141 --> 00:37:43,541 No, he's going back to prison, even if l have to drag him there meself. 769 00:37:44,501 --> 00:37:46,141 You all right in there, Marty? 770 00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:50,461 -Marty, are you okay? -Whereabouts, V? 771 00:37:50,541 --> 00:37:52,340 Just hanging up, soon as you walk in. 772 00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:54,741 -[sighs] -It's not. 773 00:37:55,181 --> 00:37:56,141 You what? 774 00:37:56,221 --> 00:37:58,141 [Marty] Nice wedding dress, Veronica. 775 00:38:00,541 --> 00:38:01,941 Burn a treat this will. 776 00:38:03,941 --> 00:38:06,581 You try and send me back to prison, 777 00:38:06,860 --> 00:38:10,021 the dress goes up, the house goes up, we all go up. 778 00:38:10,101 --> 00:38:11,101 [scoffs] 779 00:38:11,741 --> 00:38:12,820 Marty, 780 00:38:13,461 --> 00:38:14,461 open the door. 781 00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:16,981 Open the bleedin' door! 782 00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:19,261 Shouldn't talk about Marty like that. 783 00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:22,221 -Oh! [whimpers] -[Marty] It's not fair. 784 00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:24,661 -[thudding] -Marty doesn't like it. 785 00:38:25,981 --> 00:38:28,021 And you're not getting married without me! 786 00:38:29,501 --> 00:38:31,901 -[Marty] Bucket bit! Bucket bit! -[Lip chuckling] 787 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:34,621 -[Lip] S-- Sorry. -[sighs] 788 00:38:37,860 --> 00:38:40,661 -[grunts] -[Veronica] What's he doing? 789 00:38:41,581 --> 00:38:42,741 He's just sitting there. 790 00:38:44,981 --> 00:38:46,021 Lighting matches. 791 00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:49,061 Jesus Christ! 792 00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:51,021 He's gonna burn down the bleedin' house. 793 00:38:51,101 --> 00:38:54,221 This is what he did at my granddad's funeral, he gutted half the hospice. 794 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:55,741 Let's just call the cops. 795 00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:57,221 At least that way we'll get shot of him. 796 00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:58,421 Kev's right. 797 00:38:58,501 --> 00:39:00,061 If the house goes up, we're not gonna be able 798 00:39:00,141 --> 00:39:02,461 -to get him out of there. -What about the wedding? 799 00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:05,021 -This is our big day! -Don't take it out on me, 800 00:39:05,101 --> 00:39:07,141 -he's your brother! -He's always been like this! 801 00:39:07,221 --> 00:39:09,061 Hates anyone else being the centre of attention! 802 00:39:09,141 --> 00:39:11,541 Everything has to be about him! Always bloody him! 803 00:39:11,621 --> 00:39:13,141 He wants putting in a nuthouse! 804 00:39:13,741 --> 00:39:15,421 Oi, oi, what's-- what's going on? 805 00:39:15,860 --> 00:39:16,901 Bit of a problem. 806 00:39:16,981 --> 00:39:19,021 Is there any chance we can put things back an hour, Steve? 807 00:39:19,101 --> 00:39:22,101 The room's only booked till three, we'd be pushed to change things at this stage. 808 00:39:22,181 --> 00:39:23,181 What-- What's happened? 809 00:39:23,621 --> 00:39:24,701 [Lip] Veronica, your mum's here. 810 00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,461 [Veronica] Just get him out of here! 811 00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:29,261 Fiona, tell her I can't see her. Tell her anything, just get rid of her! 812 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:32,981 -Never get married. -[Fiona] Carol, 813 00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:35,941 Veronica wants you coordinating things at the other end. 814 00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:37,181 [Carol] All right. 815 00:39:40,101 --> 00:39:41,941 [Veronica] The whole thing's ruined. 816 00:39:42,021 --> 00:39:44,101 [sobbing] We've got to be there in an hour. 817 00:39:44,181 --> 00:39:46,181 -Shh... -And I've got that wanker 818 00:39:46,701 --> 00:39:49,421 -stuck in me bathroom! -[Kev] Oh, I know. 819 00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,701 C-- Call it Catholic guilt... [sobs] 820 00:39:52,941 --> 00:39:55,941 ...but I am starting to think there's a message in here somewhere. 821 00:39:56,461 --> 00:39:59,541 All I want is to own me own home. 822 00:39:59,901 --> 00:40:01,261 [clicks tongue] For us. 823 00:40:02,101 --> 00:40:03,661 Somewhere we can feel safe. 824 00:40:03,741 --> 00:40:05,621 -Hmm. -Somewhere we can call our own. 825 00:40:05,701 --> 00:40:07,741 [sighs] Maybe fetch kids up in. 826 00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:13,101 Thought you didn't want nippers. 827 00:40:13,621 --> 00:40:14,701 Based on what? 828 00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:17,021 On you saying how much you hate 'em. 829 00:40:17,101 --> 00:40:19,661 Yeah, other people's. 830 00:40:20,261 --> 00:40:22,461 But l might not mind a baby Kev running around. 831 00:40:22,981 --> 00:40:24,340 -Aw. -[chuckles] 832 00:40:24,581 --> 00:40:26,141 [both chuckling] 833 00:40:26,941 --> 00:40:28,380 What d'you wanna do, Kev? [sighs] 834 00:40:28,661 --> 00:40:30,261 Shall we call it off? 835 00:40:30,461 --> 00:40:31,860 Tell everyone we've had second thoughts? 836 00:40:31,941 --> 00:40:33,061 No chance. 837 00:40:34,261 --> 00:40:36,421 In an hour's time, we're getting married 838 00:40:36,941 --> 00:40:38,501 and there's nothing gonna stop that. 839 00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:39,901 [chuckles] 840 00:40:41,101 --> 00:40:42,501 Remember when we were kids? 841 00:40:43,340 --> 00:40:45,421 How you'd always tag along wherever I went. 842 00:40:47,981 --> 00:40:51,181 I know I got angry and that, shouted at you... 843 00:40:52,901 --> 00:40:55,221 but I always looked after you, didn't l, Marty? 844 00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:58,261 You know why? 845 00:40:59,741 --> 00:41:01,340 Because I'm your big sister... 846 00:41:03,061 --> 00:41:04,901 and I didn't want you getting in any trouble... 847 00:41:06,061 --> 00:41:07,261 because I love you. 848 00:41:08,380 --> 00:41:10,021 [sighing] 849 00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:14,221 And that's why I want you to go back to prison. 850 00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:16,581 [sighs] 851 00:41:17,340 --> 00:41:18,181 [blows nose] 852 00:41:19,181 --> 00:41:20,141 [sniffles] 853 00:41:21,501 --> 00:41:23,461 But I've been thinking about the wedding... 854 00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:27,141 and you know something? 855 00:41:28,181 --> 00:41:30,221 [chuckles] You're right. 856 00:41:31,860 --> 00:41:32,941 Because... 857 00:41:33,820 --> 00:41:35,101 [sobs] 858 00:41:35,501 --> 00:41:36,981 ...m-- my wedding day... 859 00:41:38,461 --> 00:41:40,181 wouldn't be my wedding day... 860 00:41:41,061 --> 00:41:41,981 [sobs] 861 00:41:42,780 --> 00:41:44,461 ...without my little brother there. 862 00:41:46,581 --> 00:41:48,741 [sighs] 863 00:41:48,941 --> 00:41:49,860 In fact... 864 00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:55,101 I'd like you to be the one to give me away. 865 00:41:58,261 --> 00:41:59,181 [whimpers] 866 00:42:00,701 --> 00:42:01,860 Marty? 867 00:42:03,141 --> 00:42:04,141 [door opening] 868 00:42:07,941 --> 00:42:10,061 -You mean it? -[Veronica chuckles] 869 00:42:10,941 --> 00:42:11,981 Cross me heart. 870 00:42:15,261 --> 00:42:18,661 Oh, come here and give us a hug, you daft little bugger. [laughing] 871 00:42:20,221 --> 00:42:21,741 [Marty groans] What are you-- 872 00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:25,421 You-- You bitch! 873 00:42:26,061 --> 00:42:27,860 You lying, two-faced-- Bucket spunk! 874 00:42:27,941 --> 00:42:29,300 [panting] 875 00:42:30,380 --> 00:42:32,261 I'll burn your fucking house down! I'll burn... 876 00:42:35,300 --> 00:42:36,300 [sighs] 877 00:42:36,901 --> 00:42:39,661 -Performance of a lifetime. -Just call me Nurse Ronnie! 878 00:42:39,941 --> 00:42:40,981 [Veronica chuckles] 879 00:42:41,061 --> 00:42:42,661 Right, let's get him out of here. 880 00:42:42,860 --> 00:42:43,981 -Nice one. -[chuckles] 881 00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:01,661 Yeah, mid-twenties, probably a junkie. 882 00:43:01,741 --> 00:43:04,380 He looks like he might be dead. Chatsworth Park. 883 00:43:04,461 --> 00:43:06,661 He's frightening the kiddies. All right. 884 00:43:08,701 --> 00:43:09,780 Sorted. 885 00:43:09,860 --> 00:43:13,141 [children laughing] 886 00:43:20,661 --> 00:43:22,261 ["Hey Baby" by DJ Ötzi playing] 887 00:43:22,340 --> 00:43:25,780 ♪ Hey, hey, baby, ooh, ah! ♪ 888 00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:27,340 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 889 00:43:27,541 --> 00:43:28,901 [indistinct chatter] 890 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,780 ♪ If you'll be my girl ♪ 891 00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:33,380 [DJ] And now, Ball family! 892 00:43:33,461 --> 00:43:39,380 ♪ Hey, hey, baby, ooh, ah! ♪ 893 00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:41,380 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 894 00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:42,621 [speaking indistinctly] 895 00:43:43,340 --> 00:43:45,421 ♪ If you'll be my girl ♪ 896 00:43:45,501 --> 00:43:47,661 [indistinct chatter] 897 00:43:47,900 --> 00:43:51,981 ♪ Hey, hey, baby ♪ 898 00:43:52,061 --> 00:43:53,061 [speaking indistinctly] 899 00:43:53,141 --> 00:43:54,621 ♪ Ooh, ah! ♪ 900 00:43:54,701 --> 00:43:56,421 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 901 00:43:56,501 --> 00:43:58,261 [speaking indistinctly] 902 00:43:58,340 --> 00:43:59,741 ♪ If you'll be my girl ♪ 903 00:44:02,061 --> 00:44:07,981 ♪ Hey, hey, baby, ooh, ah! ♪ 904 00:44:08,501 --> 00:44:10,461 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 905 00:44:10,541 --> 00:44:11,501 -♪ Oh! ♪ -♪ Oh! ♪ 906 00:44:11,581 --> 00:44:13,340 ♪ If you'll be my girl ♪ 907 00:44:16,340 --> 00:44:22,261 ♪ Hey, hey, baby, ooh, ah! ♪ 908 00:44:22,741 --> 00:44:24,701 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 909 00:44:24,941 --> 00:44:25,860 -♪ Oh! ♪ -♪ Oh! ♪ 910 00:44:25,941 --> 00:44:27,661 ♪ If you'll be my girl ♪ 911 00:44:28,461 --> 00:44:30,741 -[music playing] -[indistinct chatter] 912 00:44:31,221 --> 00:44:32,501 [laughs] 913 00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:35,340 -What are you doing here? -Everyone said come for a drink. 914 00:44:35,421 --> 00:44:36,900 Yeah, one, then piss off home. 915 00:44:36,981 --> 00:44:39,860 ["Relight My Fire" by Take That playing] 916 00:44:42,461 --> 00:44:44,780 Hiya, gorgeous! What's your name? 917 00:44:45,061 --> 00:44:46,820 -Quentin. -Quentin? 918 00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:48,261 With a Q? 919 00:44:48,340 --> 00:44:49,380 [Tina groans] 920 00:44:50,101 --> 00:44:53,300 You'd think they'd have toilet paper on special occasions. 921 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:54,741 [music playing] 922 00:44:55,061 --> 00:44:57,900 Tina! Tina! Your husband's just turned up! 923 00:44:58,501 --> 00:44:59,461 You what? 924 00:45:00,061 --> 00:45:02,941 [music continues] 925 00:45:03,981 --> 00:45:05,141 [Marty] Bucket biff! [coughs] 926 00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:06,461 [Tina] You what? 927 00:45:07,581 --> 00:45:09,541 [toilet clanking] 928 00:45:13,101 --> 00:45:14,141 [Marty] Bucket! 929 00:45:15,461 --> 00:45:19,340 [Marty giggling, panting] 930 00:45:20,780 --> 00:45:22,820 ♪ Re-light my fire ♪ 931 00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:25,261 [Marty] Fucking! [clears throat] 932 00:45:25,461 --> 00:45:29,820 ♪ Your love is my only desire Relight my fire ♪ 933 00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:33,261 [grunting, panting] 934 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:38,101 ["The Look of Love" by ABC playing] 935 00:45:38,181 --> 00:45:39,820 ♪ The look of love ♪ 936 00:45:40,261 --> 00:45:41,261 So... 937 00:45:41,860 --> 00:45:43,141 what do you think, Mrs Ball? 938 00:45:44,221 --> 00:45:45,541 -You happy? -Mm. 939 00:45:46,501 --> 00:45:47,340 Very happy. 940 00:45:51,421 --> 00:45:54,021 [music playing] 941 00:45:55,181 --> 00:45:56,141 [Carol] Hey... 942 00:45:57,621 --> 00:45:58,661 this is for you. 943 00:45:59,261 --> 00:46:01,141 Official. [chuckling] 944 00:46:03,581 --> 00:46:06,101 -Oh, it's been a perfect day. -[mouths] Oh, I know. 945 00:46:06,741 --> 00:46:09,181 I only wish our Marty could've been here. 946 00:46:12,701 --> 00:46:13,581 [door closes] 947 00:46:23,021 --> 00:46:25,021 -Oh, bloody hell! -[Carol screams] 948 00:46:25,101 --> 00:46:28,181 -Right! Fire! Get out! Get out! -[woman screaming] 949 00:46:28,741 --> 00:46:30,941 [Jez] ...me whole bloody pub goes up in flames! 950 00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:32,621 [Veronica] We never got to keep the money in the end. 951 00:46:32,701 --> 00:46:35,701 We had to pay for Marty's little firework display in the toilets. 952 00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:37,380 So, we never got to buy the house, 953 00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,221 but at least we've got our day to remember, 954 00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:40,581 and I wouldn't change that, 955 00:46:41,221 --> 00:46:42,421 not for anything. 956 00:46:42,501 --> 00:46:44,421 [Frank] Give us a pint before I go, Jez. 957 00:46:45,820 --> 00:46:47,820 [siren wailing] 958 00:46:47,900 --> 00:46:50,380 We are now looking for a three-year-old boy. 959 00:46:50,461 --> 00:46:51,380 [Lip] Debbie planned this. 960 00:46:51,461 --> 00:46:53,421 -She nabbed the kid? -The name of-- 961 00:46:53,501 --> 00:46:54,661 Jody! 962 00:46:54,741 --> 00:46:56,541 What will they do to her if they find her? 963 00:46:56,621 --> 00:46:58,461 If that kid was one of mine, 964 00:46:58,541 --> 00:47:00,261 I'd want that guy's bollocks in a bag. 965 00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:02,741 This is all we need, are you right in the bloody head? 966 00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:05,101 She's not screwy, and she didn't steal him, 967 00:47:05,181 --> 00:47:06,780 she borrowed him accidentally. 968 00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:08,380 [Debbie] We had some chocolate buttons. 969 00:47:08,461 --> 00:47:11,380 -[Lip] Who saw you? -Nobody. We just ran. 970 00:47:11,461 --> 00:47:14,181 Please contact us immediately. We need your help. 971 00:47:15,421 --> 00:47:17,541 Who the fuck are you? 972 00:47:17,621 --> 00:47:19,780 [music playing] 973 00:47:58,820 --> 00:48:00,941 [siren wailing] 974 00:48:02,261 --> 00:48:05,101 [groans] 975 00:48:05,860 --> 00:48:06,780 Pig. 976 00:48:07,780 --> 00:48:08,780 Scum. 977 00:48:09,621 --> 00:48:11,701 Filthy pig, pig, piggy! 978 00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:14,261 [snorts] 979 00:48:15,021 --> 00:48:16,461 Shut it, smart arse. 980 00:48:17,061 --> 00:48:19,061 -Bucket spunk. -[tyres screeching] 981 00:48:19,141 --> 00:48:21,701 [siren stops]